I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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