What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
