After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
last night I used snow as a chaser
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize