I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
