you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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