PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
