Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize