Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
