We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
