Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
