If i come over, it means nothing
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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