Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
