dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
