I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
