ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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