I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out