She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
In other news, I just burned my penis
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
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Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something