Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  batman just walked across the sidewalk

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  lay off the drugs

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no for real he was wearing a cape

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): batman just walked across the sidewalk (1-630): lay off the drugs (630): no for real he was wearing a cape http://tfl.nu/eo01
  Replies (15) Good night (5040) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She said she didn't have time to shave "there"

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): She said she didn't have time to shave "there" (617): Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster. http://tfl.nu/ama3
  Replies (58) Good night (971) Bad night (4773)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of. http://tfl.nu/uwfl
  Replies (14) Good night (4029) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money? http://tfl.nu/t6x6
  Replies (18) Good night (5956) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar http://tfl.nu/4b1n
  Replies (6) Good night (2311) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here. http://tfl.nu/r3kt
  Replies (14) Good night (3755) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye. http://tfl.nu/8nzh
  Replies (4) Good night (816) Bad night (1302)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night http://tfl.nu/c61e
  Replies (2) Good night (1652) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night. http://tfl.nu/mxyx
  Replies (7) Good night (2465) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable? http://tfl.nu/oc1y
  Replies (4) Good night (970) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Why did I wake up by myself then?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach? (1-404): At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place. (404): Why did I wake up by myself then? http://tfl.nu/82c4
  Replies (3) Good night (1556) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out http://tfl.nu/hcl3
  Replies (0) Good night (662) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing. http://tfl.nu/wa5t
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull. http://tfl.nu/3dne
  Replies (1) Good night (367) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing. http://tfl.nu/0pwv
  Replies (4) Good night (804) Bad night (340)

Randomize