Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."

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(937): View more from Ohio

Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

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(419): View more from Ohio

if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(607): View more from New York

he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.

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(519): View more from Ontario

you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING

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(760): View more from California

Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out

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