Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize