I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize