They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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