So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
