i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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