it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
