Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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