And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
