I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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