Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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