I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
high people should be assigned attendants
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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