So drunk its hurt
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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