im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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