i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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