i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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