WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I love having hate sex.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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