i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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