the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
