Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
