is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
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We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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