I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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