if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
