i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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