Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize