some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator