i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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