So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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