Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
