Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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