so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
