I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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