My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
