he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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