All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
