It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This house was built for laser tag.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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