So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This is the high leading the old right now
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Dick very happy bro
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
