I am spending my child support on dildos
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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