terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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